It is said that your friends are a reflection of who you are, your friends have great impact and play a very vital role in your life, your friends can be a determining factor of how fast you will go in life, if you are not careful your friends can be a curse and on the other hand they can also be a blessing. Your friends tend to know you so well that even if you don't talk they can tell what's going on, your friends are those who are always close to you when you are happy or when you are sad, your friends are those who want the best in you and can do anything for you to see you bring out the best of yourself, your friend respect you as you respect them and respect yourself, it all the depends of the type of friends.

The dictionary defines a friend as a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations. Therefore a friend can be someone you choose in your family, so basically your mother, father or sibling can be your friend, that's because you like them so much and they feel the same way towards you, so you can easily tell them what situation you are going through, you can have trust in them, depend on them, and also rely on them. But a friend is the one whom through affection can relate with you, share opinions, share ideas, provide solutions to a problem for you and can stand for you, by you and with you in time of difficulties.

Never let anyone make you a friend out of pity, out of fear, out of envy, out of jealous.

No one has the right to choose you as a friend until you give them the right, no one can come into your life until you give them the admission and permission.

I've come to realize that most people we spend our time with, quite often have the most impact in our lives, whether positive or negative. So, I have sat down to look at some of the factors affecting us and the steps we need to consider before choosing a friend and the steps are as follows;

1. Don't be desperate to have friends:
Many people are desperate to have friends because they find themselves to be unrelated, isolated, lonely and unloved, but this is not true. You must first find love within yourself, when you love yourself it will reflect for others to see, when you are happy with yourself and doing your thing your own way, your attitude and perception towards life in the right altitude will attract you to your real friends, they will see you for who you are and be respected for who you are, then they will come to you.

2. Don't beg for friendship:
You are not a beggar, so why must you beg. You are created to be unique, outstanding and be great. But when you belittle yourself to the extent of begging for friendship, you will lose your integrity. Your friends will take advantage of you and they will treat you as you have presented yourself to be weak. Whenever your friends hurt you, you will find it really difficult to say your mind and express your feelings to them because you were chosen as a friend out of pity.

3. Discern the spirit of your friends:
I used to have alot of friends but until the day I began to watch closely and pray about the type of friends I wanted, I was broken and betrayed. So the day I realized the types of friends who constantly break me down, I just had to desert myself from them. These are friends who have nothing positive to offer than to tell you to go to party, flirt with girls, introduce you to smoking, drinking and all sort of immortality. After I stood my ground, discovered myself and discern that our spirits are not working together for good things, I had to let them go and since then, there has been drastic change and positive turn around for me, obviously it will work for anyone who is ready to have that positive turn too.

4. Be the type of friend you want:
You cannot expect good things from people when you are presenting bad things to them, if you are a bad person and you are hoping to have a good friend, it might really be difficult. Remember that the person you want to choose as friend may also be discerning your type of spirit, even if you pretend to be good while you are not, it will definitely be glaring for all to see very soon.

5. Choose happy friends:
There is no gainsay that your friends influence you with their personalities but at the same time they influence you more with their mood, reactions and actions everyday. If your friends are happy, they transfer the vibes to you but if you choose a sadist as a friend, you can imagine the type of connection you get and then imagine what happens everytime you need 'ginger' to keep pushing in life.

Finally, when you find the right type of friend who is willing to help you get to your destination and achieve destiny, don't ever let them go. Do the same for them and be the best friend anyone could ever have or wished for. "Don't just choose a friend, determine your choice of friends"

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