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EMPATHY: The tiny little missing piece


From all indications, we can deduce that today, relationships sink, friendships collapse, administrations suffer, people are at loggerheads in the same field of expertise and everything in respect to human relations keep going South instead of north.

The wise ones saw this trend in today's generation and told us to go learn life skills.
We learnt skills that would enhance and foster better
acquaintanceship in our relationships. Many have even attend seminars, others have been to a therapist to know what to do about having a lasting and stable relationship and a way to be happy but even at all of these, they still are unable to find a solution to it.

We read books on attitude because we learnt "attitude is everything" we learnt about character because we learnt "character trumps competency" we learnt the necessary communication skills because we were told it is the fuel of every relationship. We did everything possible to ensure we bridge that gap.

Then we forgot the underlying factor of the fact that as humans, we shall forever have different views, opinions, standpoints and decisions over a particular subject matter. Even if we stare at the same thing time and time again, what we would see would still differ from each other's.

Then in this case, the only game changer for us is to understand, embrace and begin to apply empathy in our dealings

"Empathy begins with understanding life from another person's perspective. Nobody has an objective experience of reality. It's all through our own individual prisms."
~ Sterling K. Brown, (American Actor)

Empathy will build relationships and community, it will remove racial bias and gender inequality will disappear natural. Empathy is what we need to excel in the world of others, empathy helps us to identify other people's feelings and when we understand other people's feeling we won't have to pain them because we believe in them and how they'd feel when we hurt them.

The reason for the racism gaining prominence is because we haven't been able to identify that we are all humans with feelings and emotions, having blood and water running in our veins. We tend to classify that we are better than others and categorise ourself better than others without even giving attention to see if these people also have a good point of view of things, we just ridicule them and assume all that they have to say is crap, just because we lack empathy.

If we must live, we must see through each other's eyes when necessary, as a matter of fact, if we cannot see ourselves in each other, the journey ends here, we are going no further. We must be ready to bring down ourselves, irrespective of tribe, tradition or culture. We must know that everyone exists with a brain, therefore at some point in time if not all the time, other people will also say things that are interesting, factual and helpful.

The reason many people are still dwelling and sobering in their situation is that they are too obsessed with class and level, thinking they are belittling themselves by going to meet others for help and advice. I love what one of my spiritual father told me, he said and I quote "no matter how bad your enemies are, if they have what it takes to help you, meet them and get the help, after which they can start telling everyone that they helped you."

In essence, if you don't have empathy towards another, you may not receive help from anyone, thinking you are the superior and always right, forgetting that your help may be with that person you've ridiculed and mocked.

"We need to understand that truth in the far corner of China lies in Baghdad"

How can a man from both worlds live?

Empathy and due respect is the answer, the ability to understand what differs from our own point of view and rendering a listening ear to others.
We may not accept it but we definitely can respect it.

If we truly want to live and not just to cohabit, we must embrace empathy in everything we do in respect to human relationships because it is only empathy that makes you feel less offended when the demon in people come to play.

To your immeasurable success,
© Toheeb Bisiriyu

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