Hi ladies, can we chat?
Yes, the title of this article may appear absurd but I have come to realise that violence is not gender based. Both the female and the male folks are guilty. It may be much on the latter anyways. The reality is that, "All have sinned."
When I wrote "Stop Violence Against Women", I believe some of you screamed in your heart that a Daniel had come to judgement. Now that the mantle is about to fall upon you, I hope you respond with grace. It is already settled: The man has no justification or audacity to beat you!
Your assertion(s) may be right but not true. To be frantic, most abuses on women are usually unconsciously and at at times consciously caused by the victims - the abused.
You take to indecent dressing with the aim of attracting suitors, oblivious that men are the most sensitive beings. Every part of a girl turns them on, your face, voice, hair, walking posture, bowel etc. Wear a skirt that is way above the knee, they want to see what lies in the end of the road. Then you become a target.
Wear a skimpy top, you are a prey. Some of us sometimes wear clothes that expose the shapes of our nipples, our boobs and our bottoms and we say, "Why is he policing me around?" I think you should rather be asked that question. These are things that birth rape. As soon as you partly expose your body, somebody out there is ready to help you do it fully. He pursues you and you decline. Don't forget you arouse his curiosity.
Guys are naturally decent. Did I just say "naturally decent?"
Yes, I mean it. Note that, they are moved by sight and their emotions control them. So, your appearance determines if he should be decent to you or otherwise. For every action there is a reaction. In other words, your indecent dressing engenders indecent, unbearable and unpalatable experiences. While your decent dressing brings about a decent approach.
Why not dress decently? You will automatically attract decent guys.
Some wives seem to be blunt. You will have a problem. Men are created strong while ladies weak, so any attempt to contest with a man will run you into distortion of your beautiful shape. Some married women do worse by beating their men with their tongues and a few others with their fists. You get angry when he is, you want to talk when he's red, I pity you!
Some say that, "The tongue is the only weapon women have" but have you not heard about "Rules of Engagement" that govern the use of 'weapons'? When you said "I do" to the man's request for marriage, did you think you were getting a houseboy? If he is your husband, why do you treat him with such ignominy? You surrender all pretense to tiredness to avoid the house chores. You are gradually preparing your way out.
To punish him for one offence or the other, you choose to deprive him of sex, when there are a lot of ladies admiring your husband outside. You are unconsciously preparing to have a "bedhelp". Your partner soon comes.
Do you know that it is the grace of God and your husband's courteousness that bring him back home safely after work? He overcame numerous temptations in the outside world, just to be faithful. Then you want to show you are a superwoman.
You want to champion feminism and you turn your home to battleground? We have equal rights afterall. Keep it up, okay?
Your wiser fellow activists know better. They use conference halls and workshops to ventilate their angst and allow it to end there. When you see them at home, they are perfect wives and mothers. But you carry other people's palava on your head and drag your own on the ground with the left hand!
That your husband is poor does not mean he is crazy. He is the one you married and not his finances. If you can support him to be great, do so. If you cannot, do not taunt him to an early grave. With your tongue you have destroyed many men. False allegations of rape, nagging, taunting, provoking, cursing, abusing, gossiping, character assassination. Your tongue has become a weapon of mass destruction. Tame it dear lady lest it ruins you.
At home, before your husband utters two sentences, you have uttered ten. No man is good enough to tell you what to do but you want to bear his name! For you, having two captains in the same boat is the definition of marriage. You listen to home wreckers who only want you to become like them. Your husband becomes an experimental rat on whom you try out various indignities. You leave your children confused about who is who in the home. They see the fear in your husband's eyes, once he hears the sound of your car! You have become a terror to those you ought to love.
Remember, if you sow the wind, you will reap the whirlwind. As you make your home, so you will find it, that is if it survives your sharp tongue. But today may be the day of introspection for you. A day of soul searching. In the spirit of the times, goodwill towards all men.
You want to have a change of heart and turn a new leaf? The joy you will receive will be immeasurable. The love you will find, unquantifiable. Go ahead. Take the step. It is in you to become a better wife and mother.
Madam, stop violence against men too!
SEE ALSO: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST WOMEN
SEE ALSO: HOW TO SHATTER SILENCE AND STOP DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
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